The matrix still has me, but at least I know that reality is out there, in front of me whenever I drop shields, turn off the projectors, and let it in. When I was 4, it was easy to see, directly, the magical world, the mystery we call life, or reality, or that which cannot be named, but now the encrustation of enculturation is so thick that chipping holes through it is no longer easy – simple, but not easy.